EXCELLENT ADVICE FOR LIVING
Kevin Kelly, 2023
IDEA | BOOK
It was one key idea that originally drew me to this book of proverbs and ultimately began my obsession with the Being that is Kevin Kelly:
Don’t Be The Best. Be The Only.
But what does this actually mean?
I’ve never really wanted to compete at anything. Sports, tests, board games. I’ve never been a massive fan of Here are the parameters, now lets officially determine who’s the best.
I always found this concept terrifying.
In school, when the class was assigned math problems to solve — First one to figure it out wins a prize — I just wouldn’t bother. I already knew who the smartest people were in this regard. No need for me to fail at a game I’m neither interested in nor naturally good at.
From as far back as I can recall, I wanted to create my own game in life, with its own rules, and compete only against myself. This way, I could always win, even if I lost. And I saw creativity as means to do this.
I believe it’s important to formulate your own game in life. Common advice for creating art is to compete against yourself and never worry about other people. Their success cannot translate to your own because it’s overtly part of an entirely different game. But it’s hard to do this when the game you’re playing has a clear leaderboard, perhaps in the form of a job title or salary. And it’s even harder when this leaderboard, this desired victory, doesn’t even mean that much to you anyway.
To say we should not compete against other people in life would be idiotic. Competition is a part of nature. Plants compete for sunlight. Animals compete for food. Humans compete for resources.
Competition is hardwired into the universe.
But what sets us apart is our ability to intellectually construct our own game, with its own rules, and most importantly, its own version of victory. We can contextualise things and formulate our own imagined perspective. We can design games in which a winning outcome would genuinely feed our soul.
What would your ideal game look like? For some Beings it could be raising a family. For others, it could be making music that speaks from the heart.
I’ve never wanted to be the best at someone else’s game, especially when it’s been designed to utilise my life, my existence, as a mere pawn for profit. Of course, this is a privileged perspective. We don’t always have control over what games we must play. But for every game we feel we’re forced to play, we can construct another of our own.
How do we create our own games in life? Well, I believe it has to come from first evaluating our innate Being. I ask myself, what am I naturally good at? How does my brain work? What do I believe in? What do I love? These are complex questions, but by merely asking them, I have started to create the rules for my own game.
Of the things I love the most, nothing can be defined as The Best. The films I love are not the best films. The music I love is not the best music. I do not believe the concept of Best even makes any sense in this regard. There’s an argument to be made that my family and friends are actually the best, but I’m sure many other people believe the same thing.
Nothing Serious doesn’t aim to be the best. It aims to be the only. And it does so by placing a human soul right at the centre of its cosmos. It’s a project about trying to make a living from playing your own game. Maybe that’s the goal of every artist. And maybe that should be the goal of every Being too, regardless of what they do.
Look for what you align with naturally. Uncover the elements that make you unique. Feed them. Refine them. Share them.
It may take your whole life, but the way I see it, it’s the only game worth playing.
Substack | Absorb Full Idea On The NS Substack
Interview | Rich Roll
Kelly discusses aiming to Be The Only. How? Why?
Podcast | Rich Roll
The above interview in podcast form.
II | The Specific Is The Universal
The wisdom Kevin Kelly offers in this book ranges from the abstract to the specific. No division is forced between these sides of the serious spectrum. There’s as much practical advice to absorb from the idea:
"When sharing, one person divides, the other chooses,”
As there is from a more profound idea like:
“An open heart is the most direct path to an open mind.”
These are not your commonly vague self-help tips on how to get rich quick, accomplish big goals, or find your true inner self. Instead, these ideas are simply the residue of a life lived. Guidance through the niche moments of adulthood. Practical advice for existing within modern society.
Reading | Kevin Kelly
III | Formation Dictates Absorption
The idea to frame these pieces of advice as poems forces the wisdom within to be absorbed in a different way.
Form often alters our perspective. Even if the idea remains entirely the same. We are conditioned to more readily absorb stanzas as art and sentences as informative, or proverbs as wise and bullet-points as factual.
In this way, form can be a tool used to exploit our preconceptions. This is essentially the business of advertising. But it’s evident in the arts too.
There’s something about presenting Kelly’s ideas in poetic form that make them more digestible. Something about them just seems finished. Complete thoughts cemented in time. They exude an essence of wisdom, even before one absorbs the words.
I was talking to a friend the other day about her desire to read more. I suggested this book because of its form. The encapsulation of its ideas as these short stanzas allows one to dip in and out, without feeling as though no progress is being made. Boredom doesn’t have a chance to take hold.
It’s a tactical idea to fuse the form of poetry — an often complex art to decipher — with the straightforwardness of concise adages. Perhaps, the next time you’re writing something that needs to be absorbed efficiently, try changing its form to a poem. See how it transforms the information.
Wisdom | Kevin Kelly
“Art is in what you leave out.”
“Don’t define yourself by your opinions, because then you can’t change your mind. Define yourself by your values.”
“To succeed once, focus on the outcome. To keep succeeding, focus on the process that makes the outcome.”
I.D. | Who is Kevin Kelly?
Kevin Kelly is the founder of Wired Magazine. But this is only one part of the puzzle. What I love about Kevin Kelly is the fact that he can only really be defined by his name. He’s a modern artist. The kind who can work in many diverse areas, mediums, industries and still maintain a cohesive brand. Books like this aren’t random side quests that confuse his audience. Rather, they are key elements that formulate the grand whole: The Being of Kevin Kelly Inc.
Kevin Kelly
Kevin Kelly is a wise, technologically-minded artist writing from the future.